There is a saying that a thought should pass through three gates before you decide to speak it: "Is it true, is it necessary, is it kind?" If you find yourself debating whether or not to say something to someone, this spread helps you to consider your words carefully.
Three Gates Spread
GATE 1: Is it true?
Is the thing you want to say true? Is it completely true? Is it true for you but not for the other person? Are you mistaken? Sometimes we get a thought in our head and convince ourselves of its truth. This part of the reading asks you to examine that belief.
GATE 2: Is it necessary?
Does the thing really need to be said? Will it accomplish anything? Determining necessity is not easy-for also must ask, necessary for whom? This part of the reading asks you to explore the necessity of the words from a larger perspective.
GATE 3: Is it kind?
Is what you want to say kind? Kindness is not simple. Something may seem unkind in the short run but be kind in the long run. Or you may convince yourself that it is for their own good." This part of the reading reveals whether or not kindness is at the root of the statement.
REASON: What is your goal in saying these words?
What do you hope to accomplish? What is your desired outcome? Although you may think you know your motivation, this part of the reading asks you to be honest with yourself about your reasons.
OUTCOME: If you decide to say what you are thinking, there will be ramifications, whatever the answers in the first four parts on the reading. This part presents the likely potential result of your action. Consider it carefully and see if it is what you want.
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